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Friday, July 30
Life's pretty stagnant.. pointless.
Mood: Sick of my life
7/30/2004 10:50:00 pm + + Kese + +
Monday, July 26
Yet another joins the fray..
And then there was two.
7/26/2004 11:47:00 pm + + Kese + +
Friday, July 23
Have i changed? Sarcasm seems to be my favourite mood
7/23/2004 11:27:00 pm + + Kese + +
Wednesday, July 21
We Were Meant To Live For So Much More.
In less than 36 hours, some of my best buddies are gonna enlist into the army. A number of them, i've known since secondary 1. Small little geeks we were then.. turning to men, serving the nation. The days spent with no worries, afternoons on the basketball court playing soccer or in the new courtyard. One of them, Michael, has similar taste as me. Both our 1st girlfriend was the same girl! Well, both of us has learnt our mistake. ;)
3 years ago, i'd never had envision the feelings i will get to see them go. Sure, i can still see them on weekends, but it just ain't the same anymore. No more mahjong sessions and electrical therapy at bing's house; no more late night suppers at chong pang nasi lemak; no more soccer with these guys. The sense of feeling knowing that you can call them out anytime (well, almost).
New buddies are gonna be made in the army, time are gonna be spent with them too.
Tomorrow, on the 22nd of July, Hendry, Michael, Ah Lek and Guanhong are gonna be enlisted, followed by Ben on the 27th.
This is the transition from an adolescent to a man. A phase in every Singaporean guy. I hope we wouldn't grow too distant. My buddies.. Tok Cock, sing song, play mahjong, anytime, anywhere.
Take care in there.. SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEBYE!
Switchfoot - Meant To Live
Fumbling his confidence
And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's bid for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly, fly
[Chorus]
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Somewhere we live inside
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
Somewhere we live inside
Dreaming about Providence
And whether mice or men have second tries
Maybe we've been livin with our eyes half open
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken
[Chorus]
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than this world's got to offer
We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live for so much more
Have we lost ourselves?
We were meant to live
We were meant to live
7/21/2004 01:46:00 am + + Kese + +
Sunday, July 18
Zen Sarcasm 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty muchleave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and aleaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal yourneighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't bepromoted. 6. No one is listening until you fart. 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple ofcar payments. 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in theirshoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and youhave their shoes. 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how tofish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it wasprobably worth it. 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 15. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 16. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comesfrom bad judgment. 18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half andput it back in your pocket. 19. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together. 21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips aremoving. 23. Experience is something you don't get until just after you needit. 24. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 25. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on ourass...Then things get worse. 26. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and alaxative on the same night. 27. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 28. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it tooseriously. 29. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people tomake a big deal about your birthday...around age 11. 30. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
7/18/2004 08:27:00 pm + + Kese + +
Thursday, July 15
Don't question what i do, for it's none of your damn business
I hate it when people question what i do, especially when it's none of their business or doesn't affect them.. Sometimes.. sometimes i just wanna spit right into their face "Cos i like it, it's my choice, you don't have a say in what i choose."
I don't understand why they should question my actions, i don't see them doing anything. There's a thin line between being concerned and being just a plain busybody. More often than not, that line is crossed. That's when you annoy me and i just wanna rip your fucking head off, and step on it till it becomes a mashed pulp.
Don't like my attitude? I'm sorry.. Fuck you.
fuckface.
7/15/2004 10:23:00 pm + + Kese + +
Saturday, July 10
Chasing Dreams
Business Times
Published October 11, 2003
Young, successful - and in search of a dream
By DANIEL BUENAS
UNHAPPY - that's how I feel as a young Singaporean.
I feel this way not because I'm jobless, poor or uneducated. In fact, I have a good job, a stable income and a good education. By most standards, I should be considered a successful young man.
However, I am slowly realising that the achievements I have been chasing are, perhaps, a chimera. I have sought and yearned for success, when perhaps what I should have been looking for was happiness, or meaning in life.
This is the dilemma that the youth in Singapore face - we cannot reconcile our apparent success with our gnawing dissatisfaction with life, and nobody can tell us why.
What we suffer from is a crisis of the soul.
Young Singaporeans are getting lost in a world in which our worth as human beings is tied to our material, social and physical successes.
However, as we look behind these successes, we often find the faded vestiges of what once were our dreams. Thus, our life's purpose has been drowned in the ocean of practicality.
This distinction between success and happiness was brought home to me recently after the death of a friend. He had passed on suddenly and in the prime of his life, and his death shook me from the stupor of endless days of work.
I realised that I had perhaps neglected my family and friends around me and,in so doing, had lost the true meaning of life.
It is too late now, but if I could speak to my friend one last time, I wouldn't say anything. Instead, I would listen to what he had to say.
Why?
Because Singaporeans are too busy rushing to work, rushing from work and rushing at work. We don't take the time to listen to others.
His death made me reflect on my own life, and the search for happiness. Sadly, the need to find meaning in life wasn't one of the things I learnt at school. The need for success, however, was. The desire for success is ingrained in our national psyche, and has been pursued with a fervour that equals - and often surpasses - religious zeal.
From young, we are streamed, labelled and forced into educational moulds,emerging as world-class products of our world-class education system. We graduate equipped to be successful in life.
Yet, I feel that in some way, we are lacking. I was never taught to pursue my dreams. Instead, I was taught to be practical. I chose my field of study, computer science, and my university based on practical considerations. I thought this would eventually lead to success. But success doesn't always translate into happiness.
Perhaps my idealism is brought about by a life that has not known the cruelty of war, or the bitter struggle for survival. Yet, I have met those who hold on to similar ideals, despite going through great suffering.
For instance, I recently interviewed a well-respected academic who spoke at length with me on the virtues of finding meaning and purpose in what we do. He was no stranger to suffering, having lived through the Japanese occupation, the Communist revolution in China and nearly starving to death as a young boy. After so much hardship, one would expect him to extol the virtues of being practical.
Instead, he spoke of passion, desire, purpose and happiness in what we do. I found it ironic that it took a senior citizen to point this out to what he called 'a handsome, energetic young man' (what I found even more ironic was his use of the word 'handsome').
Singaporean youth need to learn that our lives are not just about achieving success and that we cannot rely on the government or society to provide us with the reason for our existence. If we do, we will surely come away disillusioned and disappointed.
More than anything, Singaporean youth need to know that the beauty of life lies in fulfilling our own dreams - not someone else's - and that we should not fear pursuing them, whatever they may be. Therein lies our road to happiness.
As Eleanor Roosevelt so eloquently put it: 'The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams'.
The writer is a BT journalist. He is 24.
7/10/2004 09:43:00 pm + + Kese + +
Saturday, July 3
Joke!
I saw this joke from an email i got from a friend.. it got me laughing good. I love it!
One day an evil witch took over the forest, "One-by-one, all of you useless animals have to come up here and tell a joke... if everybody laughs, you will be spared... or else I'll cut off your head!"
The monkey went up first and told such a funny joke that all the animals laughed except fot a tortoise.. so the witch cut off his head.
Next, a giraffe went up and she, in turn told a joke that set all the animals off laughing... but still, the tortoise did not laugh...so the witch cut off her head.
Then, the rabbit went up... but before she could say a word, the tortoise started laughing...
"Why are you laughing you stupid tortoise?" the witch asked.
"The monkey's joke was very funny..." was the reply.
7/03/2004 01:02:00 am + + Kese + +
Friday, July 2
Once again..
Once again i'm down.. fever, cough and cold. Thankfully, the fever didn't reach 40 like the last time round, otherwise i would be spastic by now. i know what you're thinking. I mean being real spastic, not acting it. Been sick 7 days out of the last 12 days, wow.
But what i'm going through is nothing compared to those with worse off illnesses. Like Leukemia. On thursday, i attended a meeting with practically almost everybody in the department of Paediatrics, NUS. Clincal researchers and doctors. As i walked to the meeting room, i walked past the children's ward for the first time. THe decor was bright and child-like, a sense of playfulness. Underneath it all, i see kids, less than 10 years old, some even 3 or 4 only, lying on their beds. All of them had that same look. I see them fighting for their lives here, instead of living like normal kids.
Dealing with their DNA in the lab and actually seeing them in the flesh makes for an entirely different experience. The cure rate for Childhood Leukemia is 80%, or so i've heard. Thats not too bad, but it still means 20% of kids still die.
Destiny. Some may believe in it, that we all have pre-destined paths in life. Me.. i think it's bullshit. Everything has a cause. Your choices in life will invariably affect you in some ways or other. Whether you smoke, drink, eat veggie, exercise, etc. But those kids.. they didn't choose for their suffering. It's all in the genes.
I remember i saw this movie before. The Gattica or something like that. In the movie, future parents can already know the odds of their kids suffering from some disease or what not in the future. So the list goes: 85% Leukemia, 70% High BLood pressure, 30% Heart Congenality blah blah. Imagine being discriminated before you're born. Maybe in future, there'll be 'super humans'. Smarter, stronger, faster. A guaranteed chop to success. Maybe the phrase 'Survival of the fittest' will then ceased to exist.
Everyone is the fittest.
7/02/2004 11:02:00 am + + Kese + +
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